


Toes in the Sand

by Woollycas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Beach Vacation, Coda, Confessions, Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 21:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14702316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woollycas/pseuds/Woollycas
Summary: Set after Dean is saved from Michael. Cas and Dean enjoy a beach vacation moment.





	Toes in the Sand

**Author's Note:**

> I have more to say about Dean and Cas than I thought I did. They deserved a beach vacation.

Dean and Cas sit staring out at the endless sea, toes in the sand. With the door to their tent tied back, they watch the ocean lap languidly a couple yards away, the sand stretching endlessly on each side of them. To their left about a half mile down the beach is a pier, and an abandoned lifeguard stand. It’s the off-season, but Dean guesses this beach is too off the grid to attract beach goers even in the height of summer. 

This beach getaway was supposed to be a family affair --Dean, Sam, Cas, Jack, and Mary. And well, one excuse after another, the others begged off, an unspoken plan allowing Cas and Dean to spend time alone. He doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t want to think about anything --he shouldn’t have to. He’s earned some mindless, emotionless peace. The others will come in a couple days. He can build sandcastles with Jack, and ruin Sammy’s hair by dumping ocean water on him when he falls asleep sunbathing. But for now, it’s just Dean and Cas, and not another soul around.

The sun is just setting, giving the world around them a hazy, dreamlike glow, the seashells and driftwood painted an orangy-pink. Dean hears the occasional seagull, but is too at peace to pay heed to anything but the hypnotic waves and the angel beside him. 

“This is all I want, Cas. Sand, surf, and silence.” He’s facing forward, eyes closed, relaxing in the sun’s remaining warmth. He feels Cas’s stare boring into him. “What?” His voice is impatient, though he doesn’t mean it to be. 

“Dean, why am I here if you want silence?” 

Sensing the sarcasm, he tilts his head, peering out of one eye. Scoffing, he responds, “Because I need you, man.” 

The words come out reflexively. He means every word, but he also means more. His mind is afloat though and he’d rather save that conversation for another day. Dean doesn’t want to think; he doesn’t want to talk. He’s safe, he’s whole, he’s free of Michael, and he’s with Cas. He’s not dwelling on the past. He knows those words are cheap, and feels Cas’s unspoken dismissal beside him. He opens both eyes, turning to face Cas fully. 

Cas is close, his hair seemingly black in the shadows, and his eyes showing so much sorrow. Even in the dim light, the blue radiates an ocean of heartache. Dean wants nothing more than to run away from the weight of knowledge that he’s the cause of that face --that pain. Panic bubbles up and he starts to move --to leave the tent and escape across the empty expanse of beach. Before he even can though, Cas settles a hand on his arm, steadying him. 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to convey to Cas how grateful he is that he is here with him now. They’re together. Dean admits to himself that maybe he can’t find the words because he doesn’t think he deserves this attention. He doesn’t deserve the sacrifices made to save his sorry ass. An inchoate, small voice in the back of his head whispers that he does --and Dean squashes it without pause. 

Cas drops his arm, pulling Dean away from his thoughts. He hand settles in Dean’s, fingers intertwining. Dean looks down, eyes wide. His heartbeat ratchets up a notch. He looks back up at Cas, mouth slightly agape. What is he doing? 

“Dean, I’m holding your hand. It’s a sign of affection.” 

Dean doesn’t have it in himself to roll his eyes, or even pull away. He just stares at Cas, allowing him to continue, allowing him to connect and comfort. “I thought I’d lost you, Dean. I thought you were gone. It seemed that nothing that Sam, Jack, or I could do could save you. But we won, and you’re here now, next to me.” 

Cas smiles softly, and Dean melts, his guilt ebbing like the water before them. 

Dean looks out at the ocean again, the sun getting lower, the stars blinking into their nightly existence. He feels a breeze cooling his bare legs and reaches with his free hand to dust stray bits of sand away. 

“Cas, I did what I had to do for this family. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you, Sam, Jack, and Mom are safe.” Dean wasn’t sure he’d do it all again though, and saw his doubts reflected in Cas’s face. His mind recoils at the slightest memory of Michael’s possession. He was so low, so desperate for another win, so out of options that he latched onto the one thing he could do to save them, but hindsight is a bitch. He survived Hell, he miraculously lived through this, but barely. He feels weak showing his doubts. 

Cas squeezes and rubs a tiny circle of reassurance with his thumb over Dean’s hand. His lips compress, and Dean has a sudden urge to kiss Cas, lay his lips on him and feel his breath on his, but quells the need. Now is not the time.

Dean knows Cas doesn’t get words wrong, and his brain buzzes when he hears, “I love you, Dean. You are more to me than a protector for this family. You are more to me than a tool to save the world.”

Dean swallows, desperate, so desperate to respond. He pulls his hand away to loop it around Cas’s back, pulling him closer. Their bodies touching, he feels Cas’s warmth, and sighs, the physical language of his a crutch too ambiguous for absolute interpretation. Dean thinks himself a coward. 

“You’re not a coward, Dean. You’re a brave, strong, and kind man deserving of love. Maybe if you heard it more, you’d believe it more. I thought I lost you and I won’t be silent anymore. I love you.”

And leaning his head on Cas’s shoulder, Dean feels his toes sink a little deeper into the sand, letting Cas’s words fill him with peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to [Whichstiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichstiel/pseuds/whichstiel) for her fabulous notes and encouragement.


End file.
